Ridgeway South Carolina has been on hiatus for a while but J.D.'s other business www.cashboxmagazine.com has grown so rapidly, everything else got put aside, that being said;
    I knowed it, I knowed it. You should have heared what the populace has had to say. Politics and Ridgeway make Obama and McCain look like a sunday school picnic.
    As most of you'uns know, Sweet Charlene became Mayor of Ridgeway some time back. Defeating our fine Mayor Boss Hogg, she become the first person to use (and she should have copyrighted it) the slogan “We Need Change”. Change is good from the status quo.
    Well, little did we know, Mayor Charlene has had a name change. She is now Miss Piggy Hogg, and all of us Hoggs know, cookie jars are made for us to dip into. Also former Mayor Boss Hogg has been elected to Town Council and the "chitlins" are startin' to fry.
    Since Mayor Piggy Hogg was sworn into office, she decided the old Century House would now be the permanent home for the Town Office. This was a good thing considering the Historic significance of the House.............but she took it upon herself to acquire a Confederate Express Card in her name and the towns name and just like any Hogg woman decided to go on a decoratin' spree and spice up the old house spending over 10 grand at the Wood Ass store in Columbia leaving the local merchants applying for food stamps to stay alive. She shopped like a queen furnishing her new phuckingham palace. That’s exactly what the town got from its coffers a phucking ham from the piggy bank.
    We even understand there is a vase, not vasseee as Yankees call it, that cost several hunnert dollahs, thats supposed to be alligator skin and to think our local TV station WIS spent hours investigatin' the legend of the Lizard Man. Hell, that Hogg killed that mother in the swamp in Lee County and had him turned into a vase, so if you want to see his remains come on down to phuckingham palace.
    Second problem is we understand she called an emergency session to try and stop Dollah Stores from building in Ridgeway. So are we at ridgewaysouthcarolina.com. We just think it ought to be called the 50 cent sto as not to confuse our local citizens that deal with our local dealer, Dollah! Heck, might as well give him rack space in the new sto.
    I also realize our local service stations are committin' highway robbery. I think we should all go back 75 years and show the oil companies real horsepower. We may have to hire Mayor Piggy Hogg to shovel s#!t but hell she's a dishin' out that duana anyway. Now for all you uneducated Yankees duana is Southern for chicken s#!t.
    There may be another way to solve the problem too. It seems our local sheriffs dept. stumbled across and destroyed one of the biggest liquor stills in years in these heah parts. It’s hilarious. They just got lucky. Missed the other four stills much bigger then the one they got. I got an idea for our local bootleggers and it’s perfectly legal. Bottle the shine up and sell it as octane booster. Label it for gasoline engines only. I understand you get 100 miles to a gallon. You just have to watch your car at a red light, the engine has a cravin' to kiss ass to the car in front of you.
    Don't get our staff fired up over the stupidity of our government but since it’s so common and a joke to most people, Ridgeway might as well make money. Our government has gone to pot when the common summer flower salvia, the leaves of which are 10 times more powerful than Ridgeway Red is perfectly legal and no one can do a thing about it. Well, our fine Mayor Piggy Hogg should plant Salvia in every bare space, harvest it and sell it in baggies at 10 bucks like the Canadians do on line. And the jail and our tax dollahs could go to other things like Mayor Piggy buying our Chief of Police a $45,000 Batmobile.
    Our chief has had a good time in the new cruiser and even went 10 miles out to the Sovereign Nation of Longtown for a sobriety check with the county police. They should have given the taxpayers a break and parked a walk in paddy wagon there for a couple of hours. Most folks are drunk, high or too damn old to drive at that location. They asked for proof of insurance and most folks handed the police their medicaid card whence they said "you're good to go, don't spend all those food stamps at one place!” Us Longtonians don't take to kindly to outsiders meddlin' in our affairs. You might get hoss whipped at Bug Tussell.  The chief has also been known to chase Yankees almost to the gold mine. Chief, if you can't catch those Yankees in the Batmobile in Ridgeway, just let em go.
    All this money being wasted and the town can't buy a stupid clip to keep the American flag up at the old school. It can't cost more than five bucks. J.D. donated the U.S. and State flag and no one gives a damn. That U.S. flag was a 100 dollah donation to the town. Well ten days from the date of this new story it better be fixed or you may see a Confederate, Rainbow, or Black Liberation flag there and we'll see how long Mayor Piggy Hogg takes to fix it. Hell, I'll bet no one will even notice.
    Finally Mayor Piggy Hogg, I still think you have some and I said some good ideas for Ridgeway but remember what J.D. is telling you. The handwriting is on the wall. I lay claim to my Ridgeway heritage. All my great great grandparents and uncles and aunts settled here around 1769, long before Ridgeway existed as a town and all the other council members have deep, deep roots here. Outsiders are at least six generations away from being accepted and even then it’s marginal. Through all the generations, Ridgeways faults and infighting this town has survived and it ain't goin' nowhere.
    Oh I almost forgot and I'm so sorry. Boss Hogg told me your full name, the Honorable Mayor Piggy "Hillary" Hogg and we already know where that story went!